this is part one of a two-part blog about one of the games for this week, replica, and the “games + the academy” panel from the year of games opening symposium. they’re separated into two parts because i have to make one post about YoG and another post about this week’s games, but they were melded together in my mind. this post is about the “games + the academy” panel.
can i be honest and a little vulnerable with you?
i don’t feel like a gamer.
and i know that we can argue back and forth about whether or not you, dear reader, think i’m a gamer, but the fact of the matter of this: for the last three (almost four) years, i have studied games in college. i’ve played more games in the last three (four) years than i have in the prior 18 years. i’ve learned so much about games, and their intricacies. no matter how much the evil little voices in my head tell me i can’t, i can speak very thoroughly about games in a journalistic and academic manner.
so why don’t i feel like a gamer?
during the “games + the academy” panel, d. fox harrell said the following:
there’s a weird distinction between “gamers” and “non-gamers” that doesn’t really exist in other kinds of art. like, you don’t say music-ers and non-music-ers, you just say, “what kind of music do you like?”
the entire panel was maybe my favorite of the entire symposium, but it really made me reflect on the question of why we study games (in academia); and further, why am i studying games? why do people who play games, maybe more than any other hobby, feel the need to so surgically define the in-ground and the out-group? how come all the games i like don’t count as “real” games (see part one of this series)?
i have a real anxiety about driving. i’m 21 years old and i don’t have my driver’s license because i’m so afraid of it. when i was learning how to drive (between the ages of 14-17), i read the entire comprehensive driving manual for tennessee multiple times. i printed out the PDF and highlighted it to hell and back. i learned so much about how cars work and how they’re put together, i seriously considered becoming a mechanic. why? i thought that if i understood as much as i could about how cars worked, then i could overcome my fear of driving. it didn’t work, of course, but i think that impulse is what brought me to games.
i was so excited about the year of games opening symposium because i felt like i could prove to myself that i knew games. not only that, but i knew games so well i could talk about them to Professionals. even if i can’t play games, or i’m not good as playing games (and i want you to think about what that means, seriously!) as most other people who have been playing games since they could hold a controller, or press buttons on a keyboard, I’M STILL ALLOWED TO PLAY GAMES! AND AS LONG AS I PLAY GAMES, I’M A GAMER!
I really enjoyed reading this series! I feel a similar way about being a “gamer” versus being a “person who plays games.” Video games have changed my life, but I wouldn’t say that I’m particularly good at them. Am I only a Real Gamer if I’ve played Dark Souls while blindfolded? Am I a Real Gamer if I say that I don’t care about Metroid????
I also really empathized with your stories about your brother. I had a lot of similar experiences with my friend group from high school who were more into shooters instead of what I was into (stardew valley….)